Olivia recently attended a friend’s birthday party. However, when I asked her how the party was, she did not mention whether the cake was vanilla or chocolate, whether or not her friend liked her presents, or whether she had fun during the sleepover or not.
Instead, she told me how she felt judged as not “Asian enough”. Somehow being half Chinese/ half Filipino, not able to speak either Chinese or Filipino, and not been to China or the Philippines are black marks against her. “White-washed”, she called herself.
She was measured and she came up short.
I find this subject really tiresome since this feeling of not being “enough” is really based on other people’s prejudices and biases…but here we are.
But wait. I know exactly where Olivia is coming from. In my mind’s eye, I remember the crippling thoughts just because someone said something and I latched on to their biases…
“I am…
not smart enough…
NOT pretty enough…
NOT worthy ENOUGH…
NOT ENOUGH.”
Just not enough.
Yet, I wanted to yell at her.
“You are smarter than this! Why would it matter if you are half Chinese, half Filipino, whether you speak the language or not, or whether you’ve gone back to countries where we no longer have family ties?”
But before I could say a word, Olivia said,
“Nah, I’m good. Doesn’t matter what people say. Totally irrelevant.”
That’s my girl.
So, my dear friends, when you start feeling insecure and doubts start creeping in, ask yourself, as Michelle Obama did at one point in her life,
“Am I good enough? YES, I AM.”
Have a good week ahead, everyone!
Debbie.
RunningMuffins 