We have to keep her safe….

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This was my mom yesterday when I dropped off food and groceries for her for the week.  It’s not a very clear picture since she had to stay behind the glass window.  She’s 88 years old.  Olivia was with me and so she is all smiles.  Olivia calls her “Lola” which means Grandmother in Filipino. I have not hugged or given her a kiss in weeks.  Her birthday is coming up next month but I don’t think we can celebrate until this nightmare is over. 

I miss her….but we need to keep her safe.

I purposely waited for a few weeks to write about how I am doing.  I struggled to find the exact word to describe how I was feeling these past weeks with COVID lurking just outside my doorstep.

Fear?

Anger?

Perhaps.

I feel fear the most when Peter goes out and gets groceries and when he comes home, we have to keep the groceries outside by the door for a few hours in case he brought the virus back home with the broccoli.  That goes for any Amazon packages and the rare times when we order dinner through Uber Eats.  We live in a bubble and I’m cool with that, for now.

I taste the bitter tang of anger….or more appropriately, BLINDING RAGE, when I hear the news about people who are woefully ignorant and indifferent by not self-isolating, not practicing physical distancing or those who think that this virus is a hoax or it will mysteriously disappear or would rather play golf when people are dying. Not going to lie–these types of people will only look out for themselves and to hell with everyone one else.  These people should not be holding any position of power as they would be the first one to throw their loved ones under the bus.

Indifference?  Definitely not indifference.  COVID is supposedly Mother Nature’s best revenge and we are all paying for all the price for our shameless treatment of all her gifts.  I am talking about dolphins in the clear Venice waters, blue skies over Beijing devoid of pollution, wild boars in the streets of Barcelona.  Whoa!  COVID pressed the “Pause” button and in the process highlighted the delicate balance between man’s seemingly limitless wants and nature’s finite resources.  When we come out of this, we should all rethink about how we live.  There is too much at stake.  There is no Planet B. 

However, not all is lost.  I have found lots of positive things that have come out of this whole COVID experience.  For instance,  working from home, I am getting more sleep, spending more time with Olivia and Peter, saving loads of money from not taking the train to work, spending less time figuring out what clothes to wear to work, getting laundry done and put away, and the house is always tidy.  I will truly miss all these when we finally are allowed out of hibernation.

So, what word best describes how I feel right now?

Uneasy.

Yes, I think that sums it up perfectly.  I feel that at any moment of letting my guard down or one little slip, I (or anyone close to me) could catch COVID-19 and my whole world turns upside down.  This is why I cannot comprehend how some people can protest that their rights are being infringed upon and “liberate” them from stay-at-home protocols.  Let’s see if they are still asking about their rights when they are gasping for air and asking for a ventilator.  They need to be taught a lesson.  I know, I know….COVID is really testing my mindfulness practice. 

Anyway, as Olivia and I drove away yesterday, I looked back at my mom, still staring out her window.  So close yet so far.

I miss her…..but we have to keep her safe.

I hope you and your loved ones are also staying safe and healthy.

Love always.

Debbie.

Dance like no one’s watching…

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My very good friend Holly left me a voicemail today.

“Just wanted to make sure you feel great and have that 30 minutes of fitness in your day.  I miss you hugely!”

She’s a personal trainer and she is checking up on me.  I know, right? She’s awesome.

I must admit, working from home due to COVID has brought out the workaholic in me and while I have been trying to get a workout in during the day, it’s been a hit and miss.

Anyway, I was doing the dishes tonight while my hubby was glued to CNN and the depressing news of the day.  I really didn’t want to hear any more disturbing news about how some people are skipping quarantine and still going out.  Come on, people!!!!  Ugh.

So, I grabbed my headphones and the first song that came up was Maroon 5 “Moves Like Jagger.”  If you haven’t heard it, check it out on YouTube.  At any rate, I never thought cleaning up after dinner would be so enjoyable.

Before I knew it, Taylor Swift’s “I Forgot That You Existed” came next and I found myself all alone in my living room…

I closed my eyes….

…and just like that, I was awkwardly dancing to Ed Sheeran’s new song “Put It All On Me”!  Three and a half minutes of pure and unadulterated happiness!  If you have the time to check out the video, you would understand!

Hey, no one’s here.  Even if I dance like Elaine Benes in Seinfeld, who cares! No judging.

Post Malone –“Wow”…I found that it had a good beat for squats…and calf raises.

Ed Sheeran…”Beautiful People”…I caught the words…” surrounded but still alone.”  I made a mental note to think more deeply about this… it resonated.

Billie Eilish, more Taylor Swift, more Ed Sheeran…(check out his new song “I Don’t Want Your Money”).

The last song on my playlist was Lizzo’s “Good as Hell”.  I love that song!

At any rate, I somehow managed to squeeze in 30 minutes of fitness tonight.  It wasn’t that difficult! Maybe tomorrow I will try to catch one of Holly’s virtual fitness classes on Instagram (@hgoldsmithjones). Check her out…she does so much in 30 minutes!

If not, I could always dance like no one was watching!

Let me know if you have any songs I should add to my playlist! (Most of my songs on my playlist are from Olivia 🙂

Stay safe and have a great rest of the week, everyone!

Love always.

Debbie