The chorus of the song by The Band Perry goes like this:
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
These words were going through my head as I was planting basil seeds in my garden.
I had to pause since it just came out of nowhere. I did see the irony of the circumstance–this little basil seed starting its life, pushing out from its tough shell and trying to find the light of day….and here’s a song about death!
I would be a liar if I told you I never thought of just throwing in the towel. Sometimes the feeling of helplessness is so great that it takes my breath away.
I used to think that it was just me. But listening closely, some of my closest friends have sometimes thought about it. It may be when they are alone in the house with a knife in their hands, driving the car to somewhere and thinking it would just be easy to just crash into the guard post, or just taking a concoction of too many Advils, Tylenol, or anything in their medicine cabinet that says “do not exceed the recommended dose.”
I shake away those thoughts, of course. My daughter would never forgive me. I don’t think I would be able to forgive myself…not that it would matter if it ever came to that.
It may be easy for me to just shake these thoughts off and go my merry way but I know that there are some out there whose thoughts stay with them, even in their dreams. They truly have a very difficult road ahead.
Before my phone starts ringing with my family in a panic, I would have to say that this song made me think about how my life is not really so bad and that I may just be complicating things when really it is not a big deal or that sometimes I take things for granted when I should cherishing these moments as they may never come again.
So this past week, I have been looking at my life with a different perspective, with a fresh set of eyes. I see that my daughter is growing up quickly and I need to catch up before she leaves me behind, I see my husband of 18 years who always has dinner all ready when I get home from work, my family who always asks if I had eaten already, friends who still invite me for drinks even when they know I would decline and the list goes on. I have a lot to live for.
So, I hope that this post will also make you think that you should go out there and see the world with a fresh set of eyes. Hug your family and friends more, really listen and give your fullest attention to what your children are saying since you won’t ever have this time again–before you know it, they will be all grown up and starting their own lives, do something that you are passionate about, try something new, smile more, watch grass grow, listen to the birds sing, breathe, and the list goes on. We have a lot to live for.
So, when this song comes on the radio, I will sit back and say that this song is really about new beginnings and it is not too late. Life is too short. Live it.
FYI–my basil plants are doing well.